


Input-Output

by Monsieur_Grenouille



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Bullying, Child Abuse, Death, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Suicide, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:19:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26242537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsieur_Grenouille/pseuds/Monsieur_Grenouille
Summary: I'm just really going through some things and this is the only way I can truly convey them. Please take caution before reading this.
Relationships: Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	Input-Output

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, it's Andy. I'm sorry if you guys thought I was dead or something. I was just dared to not write for a month and my competitive self decided to do it.
> 
> I recently learned that I'm asexual aromantic, and it's been really hard to accept. It drags me down a little.

Patrick was going through the motions. He was a human input-output machine. 

**Input: Quote: "How are you?"**

**Output: Quote: "Fine. How are you?"**

Regardless of the truth or any other factors, that was the result of the question. Even if Patrick had gotten shoved into a locker, or if he missed the bus and was late, or if he failed his test and brought his grade down a whole letter. He had to let life go on like everyone had told him to. 

**Input: Quote: "How's school going?"**

**Output: Quote: "Not bad."**

After each day of stress and intensive schooling/bullying, he walked to Pete's house for band practice. This was when he got to let go of all that tension. Everyone who told him he wasn't good enough, everyone who called him fat, everyone who called him a faggot... they all melted away. In that hour and a half when he was aggressively strumming his mahogany guitar and screaming out Pete's lyrics, those people might not even exist. It was just him, his friends, his guitar, and the music. Nothing else could drag him down. 

**Input: Quote: "You're so quiet all the time."**

**Output: Quote: "I'm more of a listener. Not one for all the talking."**

When he was at Fall Out Boy practice, he was an actual human. He existed in the same atmosphere as others, and he acted like it. There were no fake smiles, no input-output conversations. Just pure and raw emotion. But the rehearsals had to end at some point, leaving him to walk home with his backpack over his slouched shoulders. He kept his head down and his whole body somewhat hidden. If anybody from school were to see him walking home from a boy's house, even if Pete wasn't actually his boyfriend, he'd get so much more teasing. His sexuality wasn't a forgiving topic in his school building. Boys forced kisses on him and girls swarmed him, demanding that he is their "Gay Best Friend." Sometimes it got to be too much, but then he just reverted back to his input-output lifestyle. 

**Input: Quote: "You're such a fag!"**

**Output: Quote: "Please leave me alone."**

**Input: Quote: "I thought you liked this kind of thing. You're gay, remember?"**

**Output: Quote: "Yeah, I remember."**

When Patrick gets home, it's all the same. His mom asks him how his day was, he says it was fine. She asks what happened at school, he gives a mundane list of things he "learned" about. Algebra, History, French, etc. Basically just listing the classes in his schedule without going into detail about what happened in each one. Then he typically spends about 3 hours on endless homework, fueled by dark and bitter coffee. He falls asleep around 2:00 in the morning. 

His dreams have been getting worse and worse. Flashbacks of his past, showing all the memories he's tried so hard to suppress and forget. Voices scream at him as he falls asleep, reminding him of all three past suicide attempts. 

All the cuts on his chest and legs, a scarf around his neck, and running in front of a red truck on a Saturday just because the struggle of existing was too much for him. He's tried to forget those attempts. He's tried so hard to ignore them until it's like they don't exist, but he's only human. The images of his past haunt him in his unconscious state. 

But his parents see through him. They see how he responds to everything the same way, and they see how he's the fakest person in the world. Instead of comforting him through this issue, they force him through it. They yell at him, demanding that he open up to him. They throw things at him. They threaten to institutionalize him. They call him an autistic, retarded, emotionless robot. The inputs pile up and up in his queue as he tries to figure out the necessary output. He can't let his guard down to the people who threaten him, no matter how much they want him to. He opens up to his best friends, but only to a point. He doesn't want to worry them. 

The mistreatment goes on and on, making the all inputs stock up in his queue. No good outputs are found. Not now, not ever. The system overheats. The stress gets to be too much. The safest thing to do is to shut down completely, no longer accepting the inputs, whether they're good or bad. Patrick can't risk taking something his system can't handle.

So he stops responding completely. He stops going to practice, he takes all the bullets fired at his home, and he lets his grades fall down to the place beyond repair. With all the inputs being ignored, he misses some of the most important ones. He misses the ones that could've saved his life, sent by Pete Wentz at various moments.

**Input: Quote: "What's going on? You seem depressed."**

**Input: Quote: "I care about you, Patrick."**

**Input: Quote: "You weren't at band yesterday. What happened?"**

**Input: Quote: "If you need anybody, I'm right here. I'll always help you."**

**Input: Quote: "Please... just tell me what's going on."**

**Input: Quote: "Is everything okay at home? My parents have offered to give you a safe space."**

**Input: Quote: "You haven't been at school all week. What's going on?"**

**Input: Quote: "It's been a month, Patrick. Where are you?"**

**Input: Quote: "3rd Quarter is over. You're still absent. Why won't you answer your phone?"**

**Input: Quote: "It's been seven years. I miss you. Please come back to life, or give me a sign you're out there. And** **if you didn't get into heaven, Christianity is fucked up."**


End file.
